Have you ever felt like the universe is hitting you upside the head with a message until you finally listen? I have. So. Many. Times.
The one I’ve been getting and trying to respond to lately is less rigidity and more being in the moment, less aiming to control and more seeking to connect.
That doesn’t mean always going with the flow, bending until I break or letting others run over the top of me. It means dealing with horses, people and situations as they are, not as I had them painted in my head. It’s being present and flexible within my abilities and value systems, rather than getting angry because things aren’t the way I had planned.
For me, this applies to gentling wild horses, working with the ones that are no longer all that wild, and life all the same.
We have that conversation here all the time “But (s)he did it (insert leading, loading, picking up feet, not going haywire over some seemingly trivial thing, etc.) yesterday just fine.”, as one of the Mustangs is looking at us on an object bug-eyed, and not about to remember yesterday’s lesson. “Yep, but today’s a new day, and we get to deal with the horse(s)he is today and meet him/her where (s)he’s at.” Oh yes, that can be easier said than done. It’s also the only way to make progress, and not completely lose it in the process.
The other day it meant sending a 6am text to one of our volunteers: “How do you feel about moving some bulls today instead of our normal scheduled routine?And, yes, you’d be riding Tiny.” Of course that was the day after the post about him and his many idiosyncrasies. Bad timing, and my hopes for an affirmative response weren’t exactly high. “Sure, let’s do it!” came the reply, and I confirmed with my friend and favorite rancher that attempt #2 to find and bring home some wayward bulls was on for that day.
For me it was leaning into the discomfort of changing plans because a friend needed help and trusting my gut that McKenzie, whom I’d never ridden with, could handle Tiny, keep herself safe, and move cattle with me on a route I’d never been on without someone who knew it far better than I did. For McKenzie it meant trusting herself to take that on, and trusting me not to put her in harm’s way, knowing she needed to get home in one piece to her life and family that evening.
For both of us it meant riding Lacy and Tiny, two of our Wild Horse Outreach & Advocacy Ambassadors, independently while getting a job done for someone who trusted us to do it. Doing that sort of thing brings home ‘connection over control’ in horsemanship and riding too. We have no way of physically forcing a horse into being a solid working partner and not coming apart in a real life situation as we navigate new to us territory, sometimes iffy footing, downed barbed wire, opening and closing gates and bulls that are less than thrilled with the journey and each other.
There was a lot of one loping ahead while the other stayed behind the bulls, trotting in different directions to keep the big boys on track.
Tiny did try to take McKenzie for a bit of a bumpy ride. She was paying attention and helped him get his mind back to her rather than thinking about bucking because he didn’t appreciate Lacy leaving him. He did spook at his tail and got worried about some other invisible terrors behind him a few times. She was present and able to support and reassure him through it, so he settled down.
Lacy encouraged the bulls to keep going with her ears pinned, head low, biting the slowest one in the hind end a few times. She moved out without hesitation to open gates well ahead of the bulls getting to them, kept out of the way of the dragging wire of soft gates being opened and closed, and stood quietly for me to mount as McKenzie and Tiny kept the bulls moving once I got done fighting with yet another old wire gate or chain.
Yes, there’s training a horse to do a job and teaching them certain skills. At the end of the day though it’s the connection between horse and rider/handler that makes things work because there’s no bit in the world that can ‘control’ Salt Wells Mustang Tiny, a horse easily 10 times McKenzie’s weight if she can’t get to his mind. No amount of drilling will make a willing working partner who thinks for herself and about the job at hand out of Lacy. It’s her and me working together, listening to one another and giving each other feedback as we go.
It’s also McKenzie and me communicating and working together effectively, trusting rather than micromanaging one another, as we drove those bulls 2-1/2 hours one way to return them to their pasture and a very thankful rancher who is not yet riding after knee surgery, causing him to have to depend on others, and riding 1 1/2 hours back, marveling at the beauty around us, racing the Mustangs for a bit and switching horses just for fun along the way. The day went nothing like I had intended it to go the previous day, but it was beautiful and worth adapting for.
So much about life can feel “messy”, with its unplanned twists and turns. I’m making an effort to lean into and embrace it for its unexpected adventures, and am grateful for the horses and people I’m on this journey with, who undertake the half-sane work of gentling wild horses with me, and who are willing to throw a sense of security and control to the wind for the opportunity to drive cattle across mountains from the backs of Mustangs and ride to the top of rocky, unfamiliar ridges under the light of the full moon, just to see what’s on the other side.
